The Coffee Table Lounge Busts Open
Ξ April 15th, 2008 | → | ∇ Highland Park |
After a long wait, battles with the neighbors and numerous setbacks, the Coffee Table Lounge finally opened its doors on April 11th. As you may well know, we at YORK BLVD. were quite eager to see a new spot open up, and who-hawed the opposition. Needless to say, we went the first chance we got.
It should be mentioned, that though tempted, we managed to refrain from parking on the neighbors lawn, discarding used hypodermic needles and condoms in the street or puking in any mailboxes—despite the prior predictions that opening a new bar in the neighborhood would bring just that. Maybe next time.
To begin, the Lounge sports a fantastic selection of brews—over 100 in fact. 16 on tap, 90+ bottles and a good selection of “big boys” (bottles16oz or more). The bartenders gladly poured us a couple of taster shots of the lesser-known verities, such as the Leinenkugles Wheat (which, by the way, is misspelled on their menu). Our server hit the nail on the head describing it as “fruity,” and after one taste I promptly ordered my old favorite, Racer 5 IPA. Without a doubt, the beer at Lounge rocks.
And then there’s everything else. Walking in was something of a sensory overload—either I can’t remember what hit me first, or I’m just trying to block it out. The “booths” are bright blue, padded rails that look like they were stolen from the old American Gladiator set, and the stools are tall, bright red leather chairs. Meanwhile the lighting seems to be an attempt at dark mood-lighting, but it’s thrown off terribly by the large amount of open space and also the light coming off two giant LCD TVs on the wall and a HUGE screen taking up the back wall, currently showing a Lakers game. On the whole, the place feels like Chuck E. Cheese mixed with a bad disco club, with a sports bar in the back corner.
Ah, maybe sports could be a redeeming quality of the place. Add in satellite with some good sports programming and who can resist an MLB season ticket on a 200-inch screen. But it turns out they only have standard cable and no sports packages. So much for that.
So maybe the food could save the Lounge. The menu offers a few things not available next door, such as a Kobe beef hotdog, a Lounge Burger and gourmet tacos.
Wait, Kobe beef hotdog? Well, apparently after slicing off the prime steaks and grinding up the chuck for burgers, they still have the same undesirable parts of a Kobe cow left over that every other butcher is stuck with, and somebody figured out to do the same old trick. Make a hotdog, don’t tell anybody what part of the cow they’re eating, and now, since it’s Kobe beef, you can charge 8 bucks for it. In other words, a Kobe beef hotdog is an overpriced Ballpark frank, and actually not as good.
Then there’s the Lounge Burger. This varies oh-so-slightly from the standard burger in that it has avocado and bacon. That’s really it. That’s the special burger that you can only get at the Lounge. A bacon, avocado cheeseburger. Decent for a meal, but nothing to write home about, and nothing worth a special trip into the Thunderdome for.
Finally, the gourmet tacos. They come in “a la carte” plates of two, for a whopping $5.50. Considering a family of 4 can eat for that much at nearby taco trucks, we skipped them altogether. I don’t pay 5 bucks for two tacos, “Tuscan Pesto with Portabello Mushrooms” be damned.
So the bottom line: The Coffee Table Lounge is a full-on, straight-up bust. The entire time I sat in my uncomfortable, blue booth staring across the street at the Oinkster, wishing I had eaten there instead. Besides the beer, the only real entertainment of the evening came from watching people walk in the door, stop in utter shock, and walk back out. It happened at least 4 times in an hour. If only I had know better, I could have made it five.
on April 17th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
We did just that. Walked up to the door, tried to digest the terrible vibe for five seconds and walked out.
It wouldn’t take much to vastly improve it, add two lamps and pull out the lcd screens for starters.